Dealing with workplace troubles a matter of attitude PITTSBURGH (AP) - With all the time spent on the job working with people from diverse backgrounds, it's no surprise that complaining about bosses or co-workers is a national pastime in America. ’You have to work with people you don't like," said Janie M. Harden Fritz, a Duquesne University associate professor of communications and rhetorical studies. A co-worker's actions or attitude might be the cause of a troubled relationship in the workplace. Or, as hard as it is to imagine, your own words or habits might annoy one of your fellow workers. Instead of telling a loud talker to shut up, or gossiping about a bothersome cubemate behind his back, Fritz believes there is a more constructive approach. ’You choose how to interpret it. It can be positive - even in negative situations," said Fritz, whose interest in troubled relationships in the workplace over the past decade has led her to co-author a study, ’Problematic Relationships in the Workplace." Fritz worked about 21/2 years on the recently published 322-page book with co-author Becky L. Omdahl, a communications professor at Metropolitan State University in St. Paul, Minn. One example of positive and negative interpretations can occur when co-workers go to lunch without you. You can choose to think the co-workers are working together on a project, or you can choose to believe the co-workers are plotting against you, said Fritz. ’You can learn something about yourself and others" when interpreting co-workers' actions, Fritz said. A key coping mechanism to keep your sanity at work and reduce stress and burnout is keeping your distance from a troubled relationship, Fritz said. If possible, find common ground with the person, whether it is in a shared work project or something in your personal lives. ’You just can't complain, because if the focus is on the negative, it harms the relationship and the work. If you can't (change jobs), you live with it," Fritz said. Fritz said it is also important to leave workplace relationship troubles at work at the end of the day. A spouse typically can't solve them. It's healthy to have the attitude that ’this is work; this is home," Fritz said. On the way home, dispose of a workplace problem by ’throwing it on the tree," she said. The author is not a big believer in ’community complaint" or ’gripe sessions," where workers get together to share their beefs about co-workers or bosses. That can lead to a vicious cycle that doesn't solve problems. When a troubled relationship at work rises to the level that you feel compelled to talk about it, select one trusted person and vent. The listener can set limits on how long the complaining can continue before it is enough, Fritz said. Tips for healthy workplace relationships: Have reasonable expectations about what people owe each other in terms of behavior. Honor the wishes of people who want purely professional relationships. Before developing a friendship, think about the potential costs if it deteriorates. Employ ’distancing strategies" that foster professional civility. Avoid intimate conversations or jokes. Behave according to accepted norms. Bosses should minimize shaming workers. Focus on constructive criticism. Avoid gossip, and don't rely on ’community complaint" sessions. Have a life outside work, and separate the workplace from home. Source: ’Problematic Relationships in the Workplace" by Janie M. Harden Fritz and Becky L. Omdahl

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